How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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