theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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