apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
