He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
