Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
