Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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