just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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