nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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