During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
