Jerry, you need to find god
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
