He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
