I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
