hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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