Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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