these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
