Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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