i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
