I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
