at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
