I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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