My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
