I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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