I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
