You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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