so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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