So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize