He disabled his match.com account in front of me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
