I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
