just tell him i said nine months
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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