i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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