I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
