I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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