We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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