Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
