The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
