I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
