im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
