Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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