we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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