I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize