Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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