okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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