dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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