I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
