): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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