big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
