Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
