I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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