my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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