On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.