Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.