i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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