Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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