Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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