i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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