A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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