I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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