Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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