I'm jealous of your bromance
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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