so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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