Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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