he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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